In the Name of God the Father
by FaithHopeLove
Summary: God decided to make you a women now. And you know what women do, sweetheart. Finished.
1. Default Chapter

AN: This ISN'T the sequel to 'A Broken Wing'. I got the idea for this story a while ago and HAD to do it, but I WILL get on the sequel to 'A Broken Wing'. I promise! Anyways. Once again, the characters of and associated with ARE NOT mine- they belong to Dick Wolf. Enough said.

Once again, I appreciate and welcome reviews and constructive criticism, but no flames, please! I hope everyone enjoys this story. I did not rate this story R, but this chapter on its own would be, so decide for yourself if you want to read it.

I'd like to let it be known from the start that I DO NOT have anything against the Christian/Catholic church- I am Christian, and I have deep respect for the Christian religion.

Enough of my ramblings, here's the story.

Mary Johnson sat up in bed early on a Tuesday morning. She felt a warm trickle on her thighs and as she woke was flooded with cramping.

_No!_ She thought; prayed; hoped with all her soul, _NO! Not here, not now._

There was no avoiding what had happened. She'd gotten the curse. Her mother had taught her since infancy that when you'd sinned yourself into eternal damnation, God gave it to you. But what had she done? She hadn't prayed last night, she remembered, and she hadn't read her Bible yesterday, but…was that enough?

Terrified of the thought that she'd sinned so mightily against God, she started sobbing, then whispered what eventually turned into a shout.

"Mommy!" She sobbed, crawling out of bed and trying to get to the bathroom, trying not to scream from the pain of the cramps.

Her mother came rushing in, carrying her rosary.

"What, Mary? Oh my God! What did you do?" She demanded, noticing the redness staining her daughters shorts.

Mary kept crying, and her mother slapped her so hard she fell over.

"_What?"_ Her mother screamed at her.

Mary felt so ashamed, so weak, felt so much pain. She'd tried so hard all her life to be a good Catholic, but it wasn't easy.

"Stand up!" Her mother screamed, "**Stand up!**"

Mary tried, but the force of the blows and cramps combined weren't allowing her to.

Her mother continued screaming at her to beg for forgiveness of her sins; to accept Jesus back into her life. Finally her father came rushing in, and looked at Mary.

"Well, Mary, stand up." He commanded.

Mary forced herself up, slowly but surely. Her father's word was law. You didn't question it. You couldn't.

"Go to the bathroom and clean yourself up." He commanded.

Mary limped to the bathroom. Rebecca, her 6-year-old sister, ran to her.

"Mare, are you okay?" She whispered.

"Rebecca, go back to bed!" Her father shouted from her room.

Mary stroked her sister's hair.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. Go back to sleep."

After Mary had cleaned herself up, she went back into her room. Her parents stood there. Her mother left, and her father told her to take her clothes off.

"Mary. I don't know what you did, but for some reason, God decided to make you a woman now." He said, pulling off his shirt. "And you know what women do, sweetheart. They make babies. Lie down."

Mary realized all too soon what was coming, shook her head, and tried to run from the room, but her father caught her and called for her mother, who came back holding rope.

"No!" Mary pleaded, "No!"

Her father threw her on the bed, and she started to cry.

"You've brought this upon yourself, Mary."

She screamed as he started to tie her down, and her father punched her so hard she couldn't breathe. Then he punched her again.

The rain of blows kept falling, and the last thing Mary remembered hearing was to beg God to forgive her. _Forgive me_, she begged him, _forgive me._

In the next apartment over, Casey Novak picked up her cell-phone and called for an ambulance. She'd had her suspicions, of course, but a black eye from time to time didn't prove much. She then called Olivia.

"Hey, 'Liv. It's Casey. I have a possible abuse case I need you and Elliot to check out."

All right, people. I'm aware of how morbid that was. I'm not that morbid in real life, I swear! I also don't write from experience, might I add. I just read and watch a lot of movies. Please review!


	2. Chapter Two

AN: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far, and also, I'd like to thank everyone else who reviewed 'A Broken Wing' after I'd written and posted the last chapter! Just so everyone is forewarned, this chapter contains a lot of religious talk about Jesus, hell, Catholicism. If that's going to bug you, then don't read it. Here's the second chapter of the story, please keep the reviews flowing!

Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson walked into the waiting room of St. Christopher's hospital. Another case; another victim. Another life down the drain. Olivia saw Casey, and hurried over to her.

"Hi Casey."

Casey looked up, her eyes filled with tears.

"I should have done something sooner." She whispered.

"Hey." Olivia said, "You didn't know. You couldn't have done anything. It's not easy to know for sure."

"Those children," Casey gasped, "Have gone through hell and I did nothing to stop it."

"Casey," Elliot said, "Blaming yourself won't change anything. You've helped them now. You called us. What room are they in?"

"The oldest one just regained consciousness, but they're all in room 502. There are three of them, ages 13, 10 and 6. Their names are Mary, Matthew and Rebecca."

"Okay. We'll be back in a few. Try to calm down, okay?" Olivia said, as she hurried to keep up with Elliot. They stepped into the room, and neither of them could speak for several seconds.

The three children sitting in front of them were emaciated, and that was saying the least. The eldest was covered in bruises and cuts, as were the younger two, but with less severity.

Elliot was the first to trust himself to speak.

"Hi, you guys," He said, squatting down to their height, "My name's Elliot, and this is Olivia. We're police officers. Can you tell us what happened to you guys?"

"Mommy said we couldn't." The youngest one whispered.

Olivia squatted down next to Elliot, praying her voice wouldn't break.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" She asked.

"Rebecca." The little girl whispered

"She's six." The oldest one said, "This is Matthew. He's ten. And I'm Mary…I'm thirteen."

"Shut up, Mary!" Matthew said, "You know mom and dad said we couldn't talk to cops! They won't get it!"

"What won't we get?" Elliot asked, wondering just what the hell these children had been taught to think.

"Matthew, it's okay. You can talk to us. You trust Casey, right? We're her friends." Olivia said.

Suddenly, Mary gasped in pain, clutching her stomach.

"What is it, Mary?" Elliot asked in concern.

"I…just got my first…you know, the curse."

"Oh," Olivia said sympathetically. "I'll go see if I can get you something to take care of the cramping, okay?"

"Thank you." Mary whispered.

Olivia walked out of the room, just as Casey walked in.

"Hey, you guys!" She said, hugging the two younger ones.

"What did you do, Mary?" Rebecca asked innocently.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" Mary asked her little sister, pulling her onto her lap.

"Mommy said that God gave you the curse when you did something bad. What did you do?"

Mary's face crumpled, and she started sobbing.

"I don't know, honey," She whispered, "I don't know. But whatever it is, God must hate me."

"Elliot, can I talk to you?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, sure."

They walked out of the room.

"Elliot, I talked to Mary after she woke up. Her mother taught her that woman get their…period when they've sinned so badly they're doomed to go to "eternal damnation" it's "when God turns children into woman," to quote her. And when you become a woman, you're supposed to make babies. And her father… well…raped her." Casey said

"Son of a bitch." Elliot hissed, his fury evident.

"So on top of being abused and raped and trying to look after her younger siblings, she's dealing with the idea that God hates her and she's going to hell. You're a Catholic," Casey continued, "Do you think you could convince her that that's wrong?"

"Well, I can try." Elliot said, "But do you think it's a good idea to have a man in there with her?"

"She's mature for her age, she knows that not all men are rapists." Casey spat the last word.

"Okay. Why don't you…hang out with the younger ones?"

"Sure," Casey said, walking back into the room. "Matthew, Rebecca…let's go get a snack, okay? Mary…Elliot wants to talk with you. Is that okay?"

"Yes, Ms. Novak."

"You can call me Casey if you want." Casey said, leading Matthew and Rebecca out of the room.

Elliot walked into the room, his heart breaking for Mary.

"Hi, Mary."

"…Hello sir."

"You don't have to call me sir, sweetie," He said, "Elliot's fine."

"Alright."

"That's a nice rosary." He said, looking at the one that was clutched in her hand. "You're Catholic?"

"Yes, sir…Elliot, sorry."

"That's okay. You know, I'm Catholic, too. So, your mom told you that you're going to hell?"

"Yes," She whispered, "I'm so scared."

"You believe in Jesus, right?" He asked.

"Of course."

"And when you do something wrong, you're sorry, right?"

"Yes."

Elliot tried not to cry. All his life, he'd tried to be a good Catholic. It was hard enough to do when he'd believed in a God who loved everyone like a father, with loving parents who had told him that God loved him, and would forgive him for anything if he asked. He could only imagine how much harder it was to believe in a loving God when your parents beat and raped you, and told you that God hated you and was going to send you to hell.

"Then you're not going to go to hell," Elliot said softly, "God loves everyone, Mary. He doesn't want anyone to go to hell. If he did, he wouldn't have sent Jesus down here, would he?"

"…No. He wouldn't have." Mary whispered, "So you really don't think I'm going to go to hell? Do you honestly believe that God loves me?"

"I don't think you're going to go to hell. And I know that God loves you."

"But I'm not a virgin…" She whispered, "My father…"

"How did you get the rope burn on your wrists, Mary?" Elliot more stated then asked, "You didn't want him to do it. So in God's eyes, you're a virgin."

Elliot sat there and watched as he saw the first flicker of hope in this child's eyes, and he felt…he didn't even know what. Relief flooded him.

"Thank you." She said.

"You're welcome. I'm going to go get Casey and your brother and sister, okay?" He said. Then, looking at her emaciated body, he asked, "Have you or your brother and sister eaten anything recently?"

"Um…Rebecca had something last night, but Matt and I…dad's been making us fast for the last three days." She admitted.

"Okay. I'm gonna go make sure someone gets you all something soon, alright?"

"Thanks a lot…Elliot."

"I'll see you later," He said.

He saw Olivia and Casey sitting together in the waiting area, by a vending machine, deep in conversation.

"And then I heard a scream, so I called…oh, Elliot," Casey said, interrupting herself, "Did you…"

"Yeah, I did." Elliot said, "She's feeling better now."

"Thanks," Casey said.

"Casey was just telling me what the kids told her," Olivia said, her eyes flashing, "I want to nail their parents asses!"

"Well, that makes three of us." Elliot said, his eyes flashing with the same fury, "I think we should go talk to the parents. I have a few things I want to say…and, well, technically a few things I'd like to throw, but I'll contain myself. They're under arrest, right?"

"Of course," Casey said, "The arresting officer caught her father in the middle of…"

"Let's go," Olivia said.

AN: Alright, everyone. It's going to sound dumb at the end of such a morbid chapter, but merry Christmas! I hope to hear from all of you via the review!


	3. Chapter Three

* * *

AN: Muchous gracious to all who reviewed! I just have a couple notes to some people:

Jordana Amore- I just want you to know that my respect for the Catholic church is **very** deep, I plan on converting into the religion, and the reason I wrote this is to show people that not all Catholics/Christians are bad people who do horrific, perverted crap.

Thanks to GingerJohnson, who recommended a website to me that helped me very much in a future chapter.

In a PG-13 movie, you are allowed one use of the f word. Mine is taken in this chapter. Just so everyone knows from the start. Sorry to take a while for an update; I had a bit of writers block! Ahh!

I am very touched by what some of you have said in the reviews. Thank you. Here's Chapter Three!

* * *

Elliot and Olivia were in two different interrogation rooms, Elliot with the children's father and Olivia with their mother.

In one of the interrogation rooms, Elliot was ready to throw someone into a wall. Namely Mr. Johnson.

"So, let me get this straight, you prick!" He said, his rage evident, "You raped your daughter and you think God wanted it? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"In the name of God the Father I am willing to do things I don't want to."

"Yeah, but God doesn't want this to happen!"

"What is it you see in me that's so wrong, detective?"

Elliot's fist connected with Mr. Johnson's face before he could think twice about what he was doing. Throwing a chair out of his way, he hissed in the mans face.

"I see a fucked up piece of trash who uses God to justify incest, child abuse, rape, and whatever else the hell it is you do to your children! Now, are you going to tell me what you did to them, or do we have to do this the hard way?"

"I'm going to exercise my right to remain silent." Mr. Johnson claimed.

Elliot sighed. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

In another interrogation room, Olivia was ready to…she wasn't sure. Scream, cry, hit someone.

"So, Mrs. Johnson. You honestly believe that it was God's will for you to beat your daughter, tie her down and watch your husband rape her?"

"Yes."

Olivia sighed. Elliot was definitely the most devout Catholic of the squad, but she had her beliefs. And they didn't include God okaying rape and child abuse.

"Just tell me this. Did Mary cry out when you hit her? Did she scream when she got those bruises on her? Did she beg you to make your husband stop when he raped her?" Olivia said, now screaming.

Realizing what she was doing, she managed to get her voice down to a level tone.

"Don't tell me you don't care, because I know you do. She's your daughter. You have to care about her."

"I do care," Mrs. Johnson replied, "enough to help her serve God. That takes discipline."

"Lady, with this job I've heard some pretty screwed up stuff, but this beats out all of it. When the hell did God make rape discipline?"

"I can see we aren't going to see eye to eye." Mrs. Johnson said, "Our family lawyer will get back to you. And that's all I have left to say."

Olivia heard a knock on the door, and stepped out.

"The apparently have a lawyer who supports their beliefs." Cragen explained to Olivia and Elliot once they were both outside.

Elliot let out a snort of disgust.

"Well, that got us nowhere." He said.

"Let's go talk to the kids." Olivia said.

"Let me talk to Mary." Elliot said.

"Sure."

The two detectives walked out, bracing themselves to hear what they were guessing would be the most gruesome statements they'd heard on the job so far…

* * *

AN: Yes, that last sentence is a hint, people. The next chapter will tell all, and it's going to be gruesome. Once again, I do not write from experience, I did some research before beginning to write the fourth chapter. I'm sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but once again this is my bridge between what's happened and what will happen from here on.

Please review!


	4. Chapter Four

AN: I love y'all! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Okay, I'm changing a minor detail in this story- in the first chapter I said, "Mary woke up on a Tuesday morning." Scratch that, it was a Friday morning. Tuesday doesn't work with my next chapter, hahaha…I'm sorry it took me this long to update- I didn't have access to my stuff for a few days…anyways, here's the next chapter; enjoy!

Disclaimer: By the way, I **do not** own the characters of or associated with SVU. Which sucks They belong to Dick Wolf. However, I did create Mary, Matthew and Rebecca…but who wants them?

* * *

Elliot walked into Mary's hospital room, and sat down at the bedside, smiling slightly at the knowing look on her face.

"You already know what's coming next, don't you?" He said

"Ask away." She said, sitting up in the hospital bed.

"Mary, can you tell me what happened?" He asked.

"What do you want to know specifically?" She whispered.

"Everything you can remember."

"Got three hours?" Mary asked, all her bitter memories flooding her.

"I have all the time it is you want to give me." He said. "Go ahead."

"My parents are religious fanatics. But they have some pretty twisted views…they believe that when you get your period you're screwed in the afterlife, and they also believe that from whenever you get it, you're meant to make babies…that's your only purpose. Making more children who just get tortured within their twisted religion as time goes on." She said, holding in her tears. "They home-schooled us, so we never learned anything different. And whenever you questioned the religion…you had to be punished."

"How did they punish you?" Elliot asked softly.

Mary's eyes started watering.

"Mary," Elliot said, taking her hand between his, "How did they punish you?"

"You already know about the fasting. They'd make us do it extensively for forgiveness of sins. Literally, anything. If you so much as curse, you don't eat anything for 24 hours, from the time you turn ten that is. Before that they consider you pure enough to be forgiven without doing anything other than asking."

There was something about this case that made Elliot want to run home to his children…no, wait, it was now to Kathy's mother's house, and hold his children in his arms and tell them how much he loved them. It wasn't as though that made up for the hell Mary and her siblings had gone through, but…God…he needed to see his children. _Thank God,_ Elliot thought, remembering that it was his weekend with his children.

"You're doing great, Mary. Keep going."

"The day I turned thirteen I said I hated it…the religion, and all the crap that went along with it, and…they beat me half to death and tied me up in the closet." She said, silently crying, Elliot fighting back his own tears, "They left me there for a week."

She looked up…and finally broke. After years of it, she was finally telling someone. But it hurt so much.

"I…I…I…I'm sorry," she gasped out through her sobs, "I can't…I'm so scared…"

Elliot felt his heart breaking. He'd seen crap on the job, but this was too much.

"Shhh…" He said, sitting down beside her and holding her, rocking back and forth. "It's okay, it's okay. Honey…Sweetheart…"

_God, give me the words! What do I say, what do I say?_ Elliot prayed desperately.

"Mary, I know you're afraid. You have every right to be. Every person you were supposed to be able to trust has made you live in fear. You don't have to be afraid anymore, because I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. And you've been strong for so long, but you don't have to strong anymore. Let it out, Mary. Let it out. It's okay."

She started shaking from her sobs. Elliot stroked her hair, praying what he was saying was coming through.

"No one's going to hurt you anymore, Mary."

She continued sobbing for several minutes, letting Elliot comfort her, then it hit her what she was doing. She was crying on a mans shoulder, crying in front of someone she barely knew. She'd never given away her trust like that. Ever. But…she had to start sometime.

"Okay," She said, "I'm ready to keep going."

"Go ahead." Elliot said, gently putting an arm around the child.

"There's a passage of scripture in Sirach, Chapter 30…verse one." Mary whispered, "'He who loves his son will not spare him the rod.' My parents took that verse literally. They called beating me, starving me and, as of today…having sex with me…discipline.

"They went on about how much they loved me as they…burned me with cigarettes- naturally, she needs to know how much hell hurts so she'll know she doesn't want to go there-" Mary continued, surprising even herself with her bang-on imitation of her mother. "They used to…use the belt on me practically daily- Hey, Jesus went through it, didn't he- and, well, then there was the fasting…"

"What's the longest period you've fasted for?" Elliot asked, his rage rising.

"Umm…a week when I ate nothing…I was allowed to drink as much as I wanted, but…"

Elliot wanted to go the people who had done this to her, pick up his gun, and…_Cut it_ _out, idiot!_ He told himself, _God doesn't like child abuse committed in his name, but he doesn't exactly like murders, either._

"Did they ever lock you in the closet any other times than that one…"

"Yes. Two other times, for three days. And they beat Matthew and me. I should have tried to save him from it, but…I don't know why I didn't. I guess I thought it was right. I was wrong." She whispered, on the verge of tears again.

"It wasn't your fault, sweetie." Elliot said, then knew where he had to go before he could do much else, "I'm going to be back in an hour. Can you write some of the stuff you told me down on paper?"

"Yeah." She said, quietly picking up the pen and writing pad on her bedside.

"Good girl," Elliot said, walking out of the room. Running to the chapel. Looking at the statue of Jesus, and kneeling at the altar to pray, Elliot shouted out what had been on his mind all day.

"Oh my God," He whispered, then shouted, "**Why**?"

"Why?" Elliot whispered, fully aware of the fact that he was crying. "Why does this happen? How can you let it? You, the One who's supposed to be the Creator of all things good? Why, God? Why?"

"Elliot," Olivia whispered, kneeling next to him.

"She's just a little girl, 'Liv. She's just a child, but she's seen so much crap in life…why couldn't He stop it? God, I mean?"

"Elliot…he did." Olivia said. "You took Catechism. You've heard the whole God works through men speech. What do you think possessed Casey to live next door? She could afford a nicer apartment than that, yet…"

"You're right, Olivia," Elliot said, "Thanks. When did you become an expert on this stuff?"

"I've gone to mass. I read. I believe in God, Ell. I just keep my faith separate from the job, to keep it held together."

"I see. So, what did you get from the younger ones?"

"Rebecca, thank God, has only gone through the trauma of seeing what Matthew and Mary have gone through. But, Matthew…they beat him with a belt, burnt him, made him fast for up to five days. They beat him…what about Mary?"

"Um…all that and worse. Mary's had to fast for up to a week and they've…kept her tied up in a closet three times…oh, God…" Elliot whispered, "I want to kill her parents. Literally…I want to-"

"Don't do this to yourself, Elliot. Casey's going to nail their asses. If you want to help them, testify, and find as much evidence as you can, and…pray…" Olivia said, whispering the last word.

"Thanks Olivia," Elliot offered, "Let's get on it."

Elliot felt his faith flood him again as he walked out of the chapel. And as he looked back, he looked at Olivia.

_Who could know?_ He thought, walking back to Mary's room.

_Please forgive me for doubting…_he prayed, then heard Mary whispering the exact same thing, as she sat up in bed, clutching her rosary.

God would answer their prayer. He knew it.

* * *

AN: Okay, people, let's see some reviews! I hope you all have an awesome New Year!I'm going to give you guys some say in what happens next:

Do you want me to add an E/O romance? Note from the start that I under NO circumstances will do a smut scene. Ever! Or just leave them as friends? Tell me via the review!

If you guys have anything you want to see happen in this story, or suggestions, please either tell me via the review or e-mail me- I'd love to hear your ideas!


	5. Chapter Five

AN: Aww, thanks for such sweet reviews once again, you guys! I feel so loved! Here is the long-awaited next chapter. Sorry it took me so long- INSANE writer's block! And homework, and life in general have made it hard!

Okay, I've come to a conclusion. This story is NOT going to be E/O, but I WILL write one soon! For those of you who were hoping for it, please keep reading and try not to hate me.There was some negative reactions to it, a lot ofpeople told me to go with my gut, and in this, I really just want to keep them as friends,and, well something happens in this chapter that sort ofprevents it from happening. Someof you cough cough **will** hate me for. Others will probably like it.

I know they aren't the exact ages of Elliot's children, but I decided to make the twins 12, Kathleen 16 and Maureen 21. I think that's pretty close…

* * *

Elliot sighed as he pulled into the driveway to pick up his children. He missed them. He missed Kathy. He missed having a home instead of a house. Walking up to the door, he braced himself for the worst, but Kathy answered before he could knock, smiling, which took Elliot by surprise.

"Hi, Elliot." She said.

"Hey Kathy."

"I was just watching the news. I heard about the case. It's terrible. I'm sorry. Is there anything I could do?"

"Pray." Elliot said, joking more than commenting.

Kathy didn't see the humor.

"I did pray. For you. For the case. For those children. Right after I confessed something to Father Matthew. Do you have a minute to talk, Ell?"

"Sure." He said, trying to keep his cool.

He walked into the living room, bracing himself, again for the worst. But he never would have thought Kathy would say what she said next.

"Elliot…I want to give our marriage another shot."

Elliot blinked, staring.

"Excuse me? Did I just hallucinate?"

Kathy laughed.

"No, Ell. I want to try again. Look, I watch the news. I read. I've walked around this city. I've seen the horror. And I can understand why you wouldn't want to tell me what goes on at work, but…I'm your wife. You have to tell me at least some of it. You can't keep me completely out of your life. You were wrong to not tell me," She said, taking a deep breath before she said, "But I was wrong to expect everything I did from you. I expected you to be a perfect husband; a perfect father to our children when I'm not a perfect wife or a perfect mother. And I don't have to work as much as you do. So…will you…I want to go home. Will you let me?"

Elliot felt joy flood him.

"Yes."

Kathy burst into a smile. She and Elliot kissed before Kathy turned her head to look upstairs.

"Kids," She called, "Get your stuff together! We're moving back home!"

* * *

Casey Novak walked into her apartment, exhausted from such an emotional day. Mary, Matthew and Rebecca were being kept overnight for observation, but then what? She didn't want to entrust them to foster care. If anyone knew what could happen in foster care, she did…

She'd been eleven when they'd taken her away from her parents, who had been too poor to be able to raise her. Her foster parents had been emotionally abusive, even to the present day Casey couldn't help believing the things they'd said…but some of it, she had proven wrong.

"_Slut!" LeAnn, her foster mother had screamed at her, "You're a whore! You're worthless! You'll never be anything except a hooker for five cents on a street corner!"_

LeAnn had been wrong. Casey was an ADA; she had brought justice to victims. But Matthew, Mary and Rebecca were more than just victims to her. She knew them. She wasn't going to entrust them to a cruel, violent system like that. No. Never. They'd suffered enough.

She wouldn't let someone hurt them again.

* * *

Saturday, Casey walked into the room the three siblings were sharing, to find Matthew and Mary hovering over Rebecca. Mary had the little girl on her lap, and Matthew was whispering something to her. Mary heard the door close, and her head snapped up.

"Just me," Casey said, "What happened?"

"Bad dream." Mary explained. "'Becky, it's okay, it was just a dream."

"Felt real…" Rebecca whimpered.

"I bet," Matthew said sympathetically.

"So," Casey said, smiling, "Your doctor told me that you guys are getting released tomorrow. Is there anyone you guys want to live with?"

"I don't want to go into foster care," Mary said, shuddering.

"Neither do I." Matthew said, quick to agree with his big sister.

Casey sat down beside them.

"Would you guys like to live with me?"

"Really?" Mary asked, her face brightening.

"Really!" Casey said, laughing, "I talked to a social worker last night. If you guys want to, you can move in with me."

"Matthew? Rebecca?" Mary said, looking down at her younger siblings, "Do you guys want to live with Casey?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Unanimous!" Mary said, closing the vote.

"Great." Casey said. "I brought a board game. Who's up for Monopoly?"

Casey smiled as they sat up the game, looking at the children that were going to be hers. God, they were perfect.

_I'm going to turn these kids lives around._ Casey thought, joy filling her, as she realized, _This is exactly what God meant when he said 'it is good.'_

* * *

On Sunday morning, Elliot, Kathy, and their children were sitting in their usual pew in, five minutes early for nine o'clock mass, when Elliot heard a familiar voice from behind him.

"Hey, are these seats taken?"

Elliot turned and saw Casey, with Mary, Matthew and Rebecca around her.

"Woah. When'd you become a Catholic mother of three?" Elliot joked.

"Since a social worker approved me. And I've been Catholic as long as you have!" Casey said, pretending to be indignant about the Catholic part.

"You guys this is Ms. Novak," Elliot said, for Maureen and Kathleen's behalf.

"Casey." Casey quickly corrected Elliot, "save the formalities, _Mr._ Stabler."

"And this is Mary, Matthew, and Rebecca. Mary, Matthew, Rebecca, this is my wife, Kathy," Elliot said, bursting into an even bigger smile at the word wife, "And our kids Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth and Dickie."

"Hi," Mary and Elizabeth said shyly at the same time, whereas Matthew and Dickie instantly started talking about how much they hated wearing suits to mass, getting a warning glance from Casey and Kathy.

Elliot watched as his children and Casey's started what was seemingly going to be an instant friendship. Kathy and Elliot glanced at each other, and Kathy nodded at what she knew Elliot was silently asking her.

"Do you want to come out with us for brunch after mass?" Elliot asked Casey, "We're going out to celebrate…the fact that we're no longer legally separated."

"Oh!" Casey said, "Congratulations. We'd love to come."

The service then started, and all conversation came to a halt as everyone started singing the opening hymn.

"Wow, you have the best voice!" Kathleen said, looking at Mary at the conclusion of the hymn.

"Thank you…" Mary said, unsure of how exactly to react to such a compliment. God knew she hadn't got many in life.

Casey smiled down at both hers and Elliot's children, whispering one of the only verses she remembered from Catechism.

"God's love is eternally present to all who fear him, making everything right for them and their children…"

"Psalm 103." Elliot hissed in response.

Mary smiled at Casey, who hugged her in return. _It's going to get better now…_Mary realized. _The woman standing by me wants me to call her mom…I'm surrounded by friends._

_I'm surrounded by angels. And we know that all things will work together for good to those who love God, and are called according to his purpose…_Mary remembered the verse that had got her through these last few years with her sanity ad faith intact.

And every word rang true.

* * *

Alright, people! Let's see some reviews! The two Bible scriptures were from Psalms 103 and from Romans 8:28, and if they seemed weird, that's because I was using a Bible that's completely in contemporary English. By the way, obviously I do not own the Bible, because God owns the Bible, and in no way am I even close to being **like** God, let alone **the** actual God. 


	6. Chapter Six

AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed thus far! Please keep reviewing, I love hearing from you! Sorry to those of you who were hoping for O/E. I will make sure I keep Olivia a central character in this story, although from this chapter on it will be more about the children, and Casey/Elliot friendship. But I will still continue to write about the case. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to update- a lot's been happening in my life right now, and to top that off I've been having a lovely dose of writer's block. Thanks to Wynter Nytes for pulling me out of it!

* * *

A week later Casey, with Kathy's help, had managed to find a four-bedroom apartment in Queens that was within her price range, and schools for the kids. Now, she just had to finish unpacking the apartment. She smiled over at Kathy. The two women had become fast friends, and Kathy had offered to come help Casey unpack.

"Nervous about the kids?" Kathy asked.

"Beyond." Casey admitted.

Mary, Matthew and Rebecca had gone to public school for the first time today. Mary was attending the same Jr. High as Elizabeth and Dickie, and Matthew and Rebecca were going to the elementary school all four of the Stabler children had attended.

"They'll do fine," Kathy said, "They're great kids. They're nice, funny and smart, and no one has any reason to not like them. On top of that, it's only a week into September, so they haven't missed much. Besides, it's three-thirty, they'll be here any minute, and then you can ask them all about it."

As if on cue, Mary and Elizabeth walked through the door to the apartment, laughing and talking a mile a minute, followed by Matthew and Dickie, discussing something with great seriousness. Kathleen walked in last, holding Rebecca's hand. The Stabler and Johnson children had become inseperatable over the last week.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Casey greeted them, "How was school?"

"Great!" Mary responded.

"Fun," Matthew said, rolling his eyes, and cracking Dickie up.

"It was good." Rebecca said.

Casey tried not to let the relief in her heart show too evidently on her face. She may have been nervous for them; but more so she believed in them.

"Do you guys have homework?" Kathy asked.

"Yes," Elizabeth admitted, "Catch up chapters in English, Socials and French. Then, once I'm done that…a composition to finish for English class, a worksheet in Socials and vocab to memorize in French."

Dickie and Matthew's conversation abruptly came to a halt, and they stared at Mary in horror. She shrugged in response, making Casey smile.

"I thought we had it bad," Dickie said.

"I'll live."

"I can help you catch up." Elizabeth offered, "We have English, Socials and Drama together."

"Okay," Casey offered, "Why don't you all work in your rooms? I've almost finished setting them up. Rebecca, sweetie, do you have homework?"

"Yes," She said quietly.

"Kathleen can you help her?"

"Of course." Kathleen said, smiling. "Come on, sweetie. We can work in your room."

Kathy and Casey smiled after their children.

"They're getting along so well." Kathy smiled.

"So, they have three classes together?" Casey smirked,

"I pulled strings." Kathy admitted.

"Thank you." Casey said, meaning it sincerely.

In Mary's room, she had almost caught up with the chapter on the Vikings in Social Studies.

"Wanna take a break?" Elizabeth offered.

"Sure."

"So, how do you like the school?" Elizabeth asked.

"It seems really cool."

"It's okay. I'm excited for high school, though. Then I can dump straight Social Studies and go into something exciting!"

"Yeah…"Mary said.

"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked in concern.

"No…" Mary admitted, "I'm not okay. I'm so scared about so many things. What if my parents aren't convicted? What if they're able to hurt me again? What if they hurt Matthew or Rebecca? I'll never forgive myself if I let them get hurt again! I never should have let it happen to them in the first place! I should have…oh, God!" She said, staring in horror at the door, backing away. Elizabeth looked back, and saw no one in the doorway.

"Mary?" She asked, watching as her friend backed herself into a wall.

"Oh God! No…please…please…"

Elizabeth noticed the blood trickling down her best friend's face, coming from her nose.

"Mary? Your nose is bleeding! _Mary?_" Mary passed out against the far wall.

"Casey!" Elizabeth screamed.

Casey and Kathy ran in at the same time, quickly followed by Kathleen.

"Mary?" Casey said, calling her foster daughter's name.

"I'll call an ambulance!" Kathy said, running for the phone.

Casey walked to her daughter, cradling her.

"Elizabeth, what happened?"

"We were just talking and she started gasping and backing herself against the wall, her nose started bleeding and she passed out!" Elizabeth said, sobbing.

"C'mon, honey," Kathleen said, guiding her sister out of the room.

"Mary, sweetheart? Hang on, honey, hang on. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine."

* * *

Alright people, the next chapter should be up tomorrow or Friday. I'm sorry it's been so long for an update, but life happens! Check out my updated profile page for reasons why it's been so long, and info on upcoming stories! 


	7. Chapter Seven

AN: Here it is! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This chapter is mostly dialogue, just to forewarn. What do you expect from a girl who writes screenplays? I do not own 'The Outsiders' or anything associated with it.

* * *

Casey Novak paced in the waiting room of St. Christopher's for the second time in two weeks. For her, it was twice too many.

"Casey," Kathy broke in, grabbing the women's hand, "You're making me dizzy. She's going to be fine. Take a few deep breaths."

Elliot and Olivia rushed in.

"Is she conscious?" Elliot asked.

"We don't-" Kathy started.

"Yes." A doctor said, walking in, "You can see her soon."

"What was the cause?" Olivia asked.

"She had an anxiety attack, and she was also dehydrated and over-tired. She mentioned something about a flashback…"

"Poor kid," Elliot said sympathetically.

"Will she be alright?" Casey asked, dread filling her.

"Yes. You'll be able to take her home within the hour. Make sure she drinks plenty of fluids and gets some rest over the next few days. And…I don't want to be pushy, but…you might want to look into getting her some therapy."

"I will." Casey offered.

"Take care of her," the doctor offered, "I was on duty last time she was here. She's been through a lot."

"Casey…" Kathy offered, "we can take the kids if you want to be with Mary for a couple hours."

"Thanks, Kath," Casey said, relieved. "I'll pick them up from your house in a couple hours."

"Tell her I hope she's okay," Elizabeth offered, hoping that she hadn't done anything to make this happen to her best friend. "I can drop off her homework tomorrow if you want."

"I will, Elizabeth. Thanks."

* * *

Casey was reading _People_ Magazine when Mary walked into the room.

"Mary, sweetheart!" Casey said, hurrying towards her daughter, gently embracing her, "Come on, let's go home."

While they were at a stoplight, Casey faced Mary.

"How did you get dehydrated, Mary? And overtired?"

Mary started shaking slightly, and Casey went to put a hand on her shoulder, but Mary just flinched and visibly braced herself.

"Mary," Casey said quietly, "It's okay. I'm not mad, and even if I was, I'm not going to hurt you. Just tell me why."

Casey's heart broke as she reassured the teenager that she wasn't going to hurt her. The light changed, and Casey floored the gas, wanting to get home as soon as possible. _Children shouldn't even have to wonder if their parents or guardians will hurt them…_she thought, disgusted all over again at everything that had happened to Mary.

"Honey, what happened?"

"I don't know…One second 'Liz and I were kidding around about Social Studies…and then the next all I could feel…all I could see…was my father…forcing me," Mary admitted, drawing a ragged breath, "It never hit me…that my father…oh my God…he raped me…he _raped_ me.

"It's all my fault," She sobbed, "It's all my fault…"

Casey pulled into her parking space, and leaned across to her daughter, gently rocking her, praying to God that He would give her the strength to speak through her own tears.

"Mary, listen to me. This was in no way your fault. You didn't want him to do it. You said no. That alone makes it his fault, and he is going to pay for it."

Casey couldn't remember ever feeling this powerless. Mary was suffering from a type of grief she'd never known in her life. She'd felt pain, yes, enough to make her cry herself to sleep some nights during her childhood. But there had always been someone there to help her through those times. Mary had no one. _Until I phoned Olivia…_Casey realized. But even with Mary being surrounded by people who loved her, Casey knew Mary was hurting to an extent that she couldn't even imagine.

Mary didn't want to fully imagine her pain, either. All this time, she'd been an outsider, looking in on what had happened to her. Only now was she really going to have to start dealing with the full extent of the pain.

It was a long road she had to walk. But she'd survive. Matthew and Rebecca would survive. They'd come too far to fall.

* * *

Elliot sat with Elizabeth on the swing in front of the house. Watching his daughter's face, he knew something was up.

"What's on your mind, 'Liz?"

Elizabeth sighed. It had to come out sooner or later.

"Mary," She admitted, "What if I brought on her anxiety attack? She must hate me!"

"Elizabeth Maria Stabler, listen to me. The people responsible for this are Mary's parents. I haven't got into the details with you, and I never intend to, but they're the only ones to blame. Don't for a minute blame yourself. She knows you care, and she cares about you. I talk to Casey, and she was telling me just last night how happy Mary is that you guys are friends." Elliot said, love for his daughter shining in his every word.

"I'm glad we're friends, too. I hate what happened to her!" Elizabeth said, rage at even what little she knew breaking through.

"Good. If you didn't, I'd be a little worried." Elliot joked, putting an arm around his daughter.

"I'm scared that she'll need help sometime when I'm with her and I won't know what to do." Elizabeth said, finally voicing her fear.

"Just be there for her, Elizabeth. Mary really needs a friend right now, and it needs to be someone who has compassion, and is willing to be there for her. Which is why you're the perfect person to be friends with her."

"Thanks, daddy." Elizabeth said, hugging him, then standing up. "I'm going to go finish my homework."

Elizabeth smiled, hope filling her eyes. She could be there for her fried. She _would_ be there to offer support, to be a shoulder to cry on. She'd be there for the joy and the tears. After all, what were friends for?

* * *

After going through almost the exact conversation on the flip-side with Mary as Elliot had just had with Elizabeth, Casey looked down at Mary's now-sleeping frame. She gently pulled the covers up to the girl's chin and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep well, sweetheart." Casey whispered, walking out of the room and flipping out the light.

She walked into the living room and picked up the phone, dialing the now-familiar number of the Stabler residence.

"Stabler."

"Hey, Ell, it's Casey."

"Casey! How's Mary?"

"Physically? She just needs to rest for a couple days and drink a lot of fluids. Emotionally…I don't know, Ell. She needs more help than I can give her."

"Call Dr. Olivet," Elliot offered, "We both know about my opinion of shrinks…and even I found her helpful."

"That's good advice. How are Matthew and Rebecca?"

"You mean do I think they need therapy, too?"

"Yes," Casey admitted, afraid for her children.

"Rebecca, no. She seems fine. But Matthew…probably less then Mary, but yes."

Casey sighed. She knew this one had been coming.

"Thanks Ell. I guess I should make a few calls."

"Hey, Casey? You do know that we're here for you guys, right? All of us."

"I know, Elliot," Casey said, tears welling up in her eyes and her voice tightening at the sincerity in his voice, "I know."

* * *

On Friday at three thirty-five, Elizabeth and Mary walked through Casey's apartment door, laughing and talking, Mary smiling a genuine, true smile for the first time since Monday.

"Hey, Casey! Hey, mom!" Elizabeth greeted. "We'll be in Mary's room doing homework."

"Yeah," Mary said, "And don't worry, mom. This time I'll actually be doing homework, not having an anxiety attack."

Casey laughed.

"Call us if you need anything," Kathy said.

The two girls walked into Mary's room, their conversation never missing a beat.

"You do realize that she just called you mom, right?" Kathy said.

"I guess she did, didn't she?" Casey said, "It just feels natural, Kathy. She _is_ my daughter. Maybe not biologically, but in _every_ other sense that girl is my daughter. I will fight for her until my last breath."

Kathy watched the fierceness in Casey's eyes, then laughed. Sticking out her hand, she said what needed to be said.

"Welcome to motherhood."

In Mary's room, Mary and Elizabeth were taking a break from their 'The Outsiders' discussion questions, and were instead discussing their lives.

"So, when's the trial?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's starting on Monday," Mary said, "And believe me, I'm scared shitless."

"Mary!" Elizabeth said, in mock shock, "You're not a robot! You actually curse once in a million years!"

"Yes, I do. And it took me this long, thanks to them." Mary said, rage flashing in her eyes.

"I hate them for what they did to you," Elizabeth said, "You know that I'm here for you, right?"

"I know," Mary said, "Thanks, 'Liz."

"Don't mention it. So, when's your first appointment with Olivet?" Elizabeth asked.

Mary groaned. Dr. Olivet. Therapy. What good was it going to do her? She hated it. She always had.

"You know, when it comes to therapy, you're just like my dad." Elizabeth said.

"I take that as a compliment. My first appointment is on Wednesday. I guess I'll get through it."

Mary looked around at her surroundings. A month ago at this time, she was living in fear, in dark, dismal surroundings, trying to keep her brother and sister safe. Now, she was sitting in a brightly-lit room, her mother outside, her best friend beside her. And yet she was still living in fear of all the what-ifs.

Suddenly, rage replaced her fear. She would change things for herself; for her brother and sister. No matter how much therapy it took, she would move on.

"No," Mary said, "I _will_ get through it. I won't let my parents rule over me anymore."

Elizabeth felt a huge rush of pride for her friend. She would it through it, indeed, and emerge stronger than ever.

"Hey, Mare," She said, "I'm really glad we're friends."

"Me, too, Liz. Me, too."

* * *

Well, this is the longest chapter I've ever written. Hallelujah! A couple of my reviewers apparently thought I was done at chapter five? Believe me, this story is far from over! Please keep reviewing, and if you guys have any suggestions, I'm certainly open to them! Until next chapter, adios! 


	8. Chapter Eight

AN: Thanks so much to all of you for such sweet reviews! I can't believe how many I've gotten; I'm so touched by the response I've been getting from you all. Please keep the reviews flowing! I love you all!

The ADA in this chapter is my own creation. But who wants her?

* * *

"Docket number 32001834, the people versus Adam and Ruth Johnson." 

Casey swallowed back her fear as Judge Petrovsky sat, promising herself that she would be strong for Mary. Beside her, Mary was a nervous wreck. _If they get equitted…_Casey thought.

"Don't worry, Casey. The jury would have to be insane to let them get off with this," Kathy whispered, squeezing the woman's hand.

Mary just forced back the feeling that she was going to be sick. She would get through this. She probably wouldn't even have to testify today…God willing…

"Well, let's get started. Ms. Hills, call your witness."

"The defense calls Adam Johnson to the stand."

Casey was upset at not being able to try this case; she would have nailed the prick to a wall. But she did know Laura Sanders, the Queens SVU ADA who was prosecuting the case; and had tremendous respect for the woman. The two had become friends over the process of trial prep, and Casey was glad for it.

"Mr. Johnson," his lawyer asked, "Just one question. Do you regret what you did to your daughter? And your other children?"

"I was only doing what I believed God wanted me to. I didn't want to hurt her. Yes, I regret having to. Mary, sweetheart, I never meant to hurt you." He said, addressing his daughter.

Mary forced back her tears, forcing herself to not sob out and reward him. He wasn't sorry. She knew that. She winced, anyways, and a tear ran down her cheek. Elliot gently reached from the bench behind her to gently put a hand on Mary's back.

"Mr. Johnson," Laura stated, "You testify that you believe this to be God's will. So, even as your daughter was begging you to stop raping her, as you were tying her down, you never questioned that maybe, just maybe, you were doing what **you** wanted?"

"No."

"Have you ever hugged your daughter?"

"No…my religion forbids it."

"Have you or your wife ever kissed your children? Or soothed them when they had nightmares? Or told them you loved them?" Laura shot at him, forcing her emotions back.

"Objection, your honor! Relevance?"

"Your honor, the jury should know the way the Johnson's parent their children."

"Overruled."

"No, we didn't."

"Why not?" Laura asked, her eyes flashing with brown fire.

"Because they were disobedient! Because they deserved everything they got! Because **they weren't ready to receive that kind of love!**" Adam shouted, then realizing what he was doing, calming down.

Mary felt the tears sliding down her cheeks. _God give me strength, God give me strength…we deserve it…we deserve it…_

"You didn't deserve it," Casey whispered, reading Mary's mine andkeeping an arm firmly around her daughter. But Mary didn't hear her.

Laura had asked, and won, that the younger children be excused from testifying and that Mary's account of what happened to them be entered. Mary had been set on protecting her brother and sister from testifying, even if it meant taking on the pain herself.

"So, Mr. Johnson, let me make sure I'm clear on this. You don't believe your children deserved to be hugged and kissed by you or your wife and yet it's okay to _rape_ your eldest daughter?"

"Objection!"

"Withdrawn. Nothing further."

* * *

Mary sighed during a court recess. She leaned back against a bench, thankful for the break. The defense had called its witnesses, which had been only her parents and a psychiatrist. They were pleading not guilty for reasons of mental disorder and religious freedom. She had sat through an hour of people saying that her parents weren't bad people, had sat through claims that she had deserved the abuse; had listened to her parents virtually tear her apart, and then a psychiatrist who claimed that it wasn't their fault. _It is their fault…_

Mary wasn't even aware that she was crying until she heard her quiet sobs. Elliot and Kathy quietly sat down beside her.

"Casey just went to the bathroom for a minute," Elliot explained, then realized that she was crying. "Come here, sweetheart."

Elliot pulled her into a tight embrace, gently stroking her hair asKathycomfortingly put herhand on the girl's leg.

"You've been so strong through all of this," He said, quietly, "And it's all been so hectic I don't think anyone's told you how proud we all are of you."

"That's right, Mary," Kathy offered quietly, "Forget everything your parents ever told you. You're strong, you're beautiful, you're a wonderful person and you _did not deserve it_. Do you believe me?"

"I believe you." Mary whispered.

"Good girl. Keep believing."

* * *

"Ms. Sanders, call your witness." 

"The people call Mary Johnson."

Mary sighed, a million different thoughts racing through her head as she said "I do" and sat down.

Laura sensed the child's fear, and stood directly between her and her parents.

"Mary, can you tell us what your father did to you on Friday, August 28th?" Laura asked gently.

"He raped me," She said, her voice coming out with a strength she didn't know she had.

"Why?"

"I started my period and he told me that I was "doomed for eternal damnation" and that I was a woman now…and that I was supposed to make babies. That was my only purpose in life."

"Did you consent to make babies?"

"No. He had to tie me down."

"Did your parents ever abuse you or your brother and sister in any other way?"

"Yes. They beat Matthew and I on a regular basis, burned us with cigarettes and gave us the belt. They also made Matthew and I fast for days, and they locked me in the closet for a week once."

"Over that week were you allowed to eat or drink anything, Mary?"

"No." She said, tears filling her eyes.

"Did they ever hurt Joy, your little sister?"

"No…they believe until the age of nine you're pure enough to be forgiven of sins just by asking."

"So they redeemed you and Matthew by beating both of you?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Mary. Nothing further."

Mary braced herself for the fight as Ms. Hills walked up to the stand.

"Mary, you are telling the truth, right?"

"Yes," She said, trying even harder not to cry.

"So you didn't want to be redeemed of your sins?"

"I don't believe that God requires brutality as part of redemption."

"Did you or did you not want to be redeemed, Ms. Johnson? You were raised to believe that God did require that, and that your parents were helping you in your faith, am I right?"

"You're right."

"So whenyou were living with your parents, you did believe that?"

"Yes."

"And did you want to be redeemed?"

"Yes…" Mary said, her tears falling over, "Yes."

"And what about your brother and sister? You never tried to protect them, so would it be fair to say, Ms. Johnson, that you did indeed consent to the redemption?"

"I believed it was right…" She cried, "And I hate myself for that."

"Yes or no, Ms. Johnson." The attorney said, her eyes flashing.

"Your honor! Relevance?" Laura objected.

"Overruled. Please answer the question, Mary."

"Yes…" Mary said, her tears falling.

"Nothing further."

"Redirect, your honor."

"Proceed, Ms. Sanders."

Laura walked toward the stand, gently putting her hand on Mary's shaking arm, furious at what the defense lawyer had put her through.

"Mary, now that you know that what your parents did was wrong, do you wish you had stopped it?"

"There's not a day that I don't pray for forgiveness for not stopping it."

"And when your father tried to rape you, didn't you try to fight him off?"

"Yes. Yes, I did."

I suppose it could be argued by some," Laura said, shooting a heated glance at Evelyn Hill, "That you didn't care about your brother and sister, just yourself, because it's the only time you fought them. Did you ever want them to get hurt?"

"No." Mary said, "I fought back that one time because I realized for the first timethat it was wrong."

"If you could go back and do something differently, would you?"

"I don't see an opportunity where I could have, but if I could have protected them, saved them from it somehow, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"Thank you, Mary. Nothing further."

* * *

Two days later, Mary sat- with Elizabeth at her side- and listened to Laura's final argument. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Johnson claim insanity," She said, halfway through her argument, "but believe me when I say, they knew exactly what they were doing and they never stopped to think of what they were doing to their children. This country gives us freedom of religion. But that freedom only goes so far and it does _not_ give an excuse rape, abuse and forced starvation. So don't let it be used as one. These two people ignored their children's screams and tears as they whipped them, burned them, beat them, and tied down and raped their eldest daughter after she had her first period. She was petrified, and they never reached out to comfort her, only to slap her to the ground and then tie her down and rape her. They broke the law. They caused unimaginable suffering to all three of their children, and their children are just beginning to heal from it. You can help them be freed of their suffering by a guilty verdict. Don't let these two people get away with what they've done."

"I love this woman," Elizabeth whispered.

Mary tried to smile at her best friend, but couldn't. She was too scared…

* * *

Mary forced back her nausea and fear as the jury filed back in. _The moment of truth,_ she thought bitterly. Elizabeth squeezed her best friend's hand, Mary squeezing back for dear life, Casey kept her arm around Mary's shoulders, praying some prayers on her own. 

"In the case of the people versus Adam and Deborah Johnson, how does the jury find?"

"We find the defendants, Adam and Deborah Johnson…"

* * *

Bwahahahaha! Don't worry you guys, I'm not Dick Wolf, so I will give you the common courtesy or a straight answer instead of some stupid poll! You'rejust gonna have to wait until I post the next chapter! I'm aware of the fact that you all want to kill me right now, but other then that, what did you think? You can tell me via the review. No death threats, please, lol! 


	9. Chapter Nine

AN: Thanks so much for the reviews, you guys! Hopefully I haven't kept you in suspense for _too_ long…okay, okay, I know! It was too long! Don't hate me! This chapter contains an extremely graphic flashback that is slightly more disturbing than chapter one. I'll say from the start that if this chapter were a scene in a movie, it would make the movie R. If you don't think you can handle it, skip over the italic font; the story will still make sense. I promise before you even start reading it that I haven't gone psycho on you; I've done research on cult/religious abuse, and I won't shy away from what unfortunately happens. Like I said, I made sure the story would be understandable with or without reading the flashback.

Please review!

* * *

"Guilty."

Mary and Casey hugged, Casey unable to hold back her tears, for the first time, heard nothing past the verdict. She snapped out of it when she heard shouting.

"Mary! God is never going to forgive you for this!" Adam shouted at his daughter, the court officers dragging him away.

"Let's go," Elliot said, motioning for them to get outside. He put an arm around Mary, guiding her out, walking at a fast pace, praying that she wasn't listening to her father's shouts.

Once Elliot and Casey had ensured that Mary was out of her father's shouting range, the group hugs started, Elizabeth and Mary in the center, being the first to hug.

"Well, Mare," Elizabeth joked, "You better love us, cause you're stuck."

"I've got no issues with that. None whatsoever."

Laura walked up to the group, smiling.

"I'm assuming no one heard past guilty…but they were sentenced to life. Without parole." Laura's eyes shone as she laid a reassuring hand on Mary's shoulder, "It's over, Mary. Well, I have to go. Casey, call me. We should go out for coffee sometime soon."

"I will." Casey said, smiling, then holding her daughter in a tight embrace, "It's over, Mary. It's going to be better from now on."

Mary Constantine Johnson had never in her life cried from joy. She'd never had a reason to. But God was giving her another chance; a new start at life.

She didn't cry from joy.

She flat-out sobbed.

* * *

"So, Mary," Doctor Elizabeth Olivet said, smiling and closing her office door, "How are you feeling today?"

"Do you want that in one or multiple emotions?" Mary smiled.

It was her first therapy session, and she had _no_ idea how to handle it.

"Well, are you nervous about these sessions?"

"A little."

"I appreciate your honesty," Dr. Olivet said, "I want this to be easy for you. You can call me either Doctor Olivet or Elizabeth, your choice. Try not to be nervous, we're just talking. Okay?"

"Okay."

Mary forced herself to relax. _Elliot hates shrinks…even he thinks she's okay …relax…relax._

"So, how was school today?"

"Oh, great! I have tons of homework, but it's better then home schooling."

"What didn't you like about home schooling?"

Mary sighed, remembering. _The past is behind me…now there's just the memories to tear me apart._

"My parents were slave drivers, they expected perfection, it was straight work, it's not like I could have turned around and talked to any friends. Then again, I didn't have friends."

Elizabeth Olivet felt her heart break for the first time since she'd started the job. She'd seen pain, neglect and acts of human evil. This one took the cake. It was then that she noticed the flash of red on Mary's lower arm, only noticeable because Mary's sweater sleeve had pulled up.

"What is that?" She gasped.

"Nothing," Mary said fearfully, memories haunting her, "It's nothing!"

Elizabeth gently pushed up Mary's sleeve.

Revealing red cuts up to her elbow.

"Mary, have you been cutting yourself?"

Mary tried to back away, fear evident in her eyes.

"No, no!"

The one memory she had always locked out of her mind made an unwelcome return…

_Mary stood in front of the bathroom mirror, eleven years old, tears in her eyes, razor in hand. Her parents' hateful words rang in her ears, the bruises from the last beating running down her legs. It hurt so much inside, and the pain on the outside wasn't doing anything._

_She pressed the razor above her wrist, welcoming the pain; leaping into it. The pain was slipping out with the blood._

_And then the blood had started gushing. Too much of it._

"_Mary, what's taking you so long?" Her father shouted, walking into the bathroom, then noticing her wrists._

"_Well, aren't we feeling rebellious?" He sneered, "I should just let you die from this, you stupid slut. It's a sin, you know. Tell me you want to live!"_

"_I don't…I don't! I don't want to be here!" She sobbed._

_Her father picked up the razor, cutting her deeper. She screamed out in pain. Nothing had hurt this much. Ever. She fell limp, too weak to move._

"_Tell me you want to live!"_

_The last think she remembered before she blacked out was crying out that she wanted to live._

"Mary, it's okay. I just want to help you. Do you cut yourself?"

"…Yes!" She said, sobbing. "I didn't want to do it! I thought it was the only way out!'

"The only way out from what, sweetheart?"

* * *

Dr. Olivet walked out of her office, surprised to see Elliot.

"Elliot. Where's Casey?"

"She had to go to trial prep, I was off from work early, miraculously, so she asked me to come pick Mary up. So, um, where's Mary?"

"You're never going to believe what she told me," Dr. Olivet said, "She asked me to tell you for her, so I'm not breaking confidentiality. You're going to have to keep an eye on her."

"What, what did she tell you?"

"She cuts herself. And she also blocked out some memories. That were…worse then what is already on file."

"What could possibly be worse? How much more hell is it possible for her to have gone through? Wait…did you just say she's cutting herself?" Elliot said

"A lot more could be worse, and yes. She's cutting herself." Elizabeth said, her eyes flashing, "Sit down. And when I'm done telling you, you're going to have to take her to the hospital to make sure the cuts aren't infected."

"Oh my God." Elliot said, "What happened?"

* * *

Mary gasped out in pain as a nurse applied disinfectant to the cuts, and Elliot squeezed her other hand.

"Sweetheart, take a deep breath, close your eyes." He said, "Picture yourself somewhere else. You're not here. Relax. Relax. Count to ten and it's all going to be over."

The nurse gently finished wrapping the cuts in gauze, and patted Mary's hand, then walked out of the room.

"There. It's over, Mary." Elliot said, helping the teenager up off the bedside. "Come on, honey. You can hang out with Elizabeth until your mom gets home."

"Elliot," She said quietly, "Are you mad at me?"

"No, Mary." Elliot said softly, "I'm not mad at you."

"Promise?" She asked tearfully.

"Mary, I promise you. I am not mad at you. I can't say I understand what you're going through, because I can't even start to comprehend it. But I do want you to make me a promise, okay? Promise me that you won't cut yourselfagain. Promise me that you'll talk to someone."

"I promise," Se said tearfully, falling into his arms.

Last time she had cut herself, for her life in genral,there had been someone to haunt her.

This time, and forever, there would be someone to catch her; someone would always have her back.

She was sure of it.

There was still darkness that she would have to get through; fears that had to be fought; a road full of emotions; a world that had haunted her for her whole life.

But with anything that dark, there's always something justas light.

* * *

Please review, you guys! I'm still not done this story, and the more I hear your response, the more I want to write! Hope to hear from y'all! Adios until next time!

Faith


	10. Chapter Ten

AN: Thanks for the reviews you guys!

* * *

Over half a year later, Mary stood with Elizabeth, about to do walk-up for Jr. High graduation, when Casey quietly walked up beside her.

"Mom! What are you doing back here?"

"I wanted to let you know that your social worker just called me."

"Oh, God! And?"

"And the adoption was finalized!"

Mary forced back her scream.

"I'm not going to cry…I'm not going to cry…okay, apparently I'm going to cry!" Mary said.

"Shhh, c'mon Mare, you'll ruin your eyeliner, and you _are_ the valedictorian of the class. You have to look good!" Elizabeth cut in.

"Blah! God, is it smeared?" She asked.

"No!"

The two girls laughed, then hugged.

"Besides, who could look good in these dumb robes they made us wear?" Mary laughed.

"I have to go get a seat, Mare. I love you! I'll see you after the ceremony!" Casey said, walking out.

"Bye," Mary hissed, falling into step beside Elizabeth, heading for the platform. This was it.

* * *

"I'd now like to call on the valedictorian of the class, Mary Novak!"

Mary walked, legs shaking, to the center of the stage, her classmates cheers echoing in the school gymnasium.

"On my first day at this school," She said, smiling, "I had an anxiety attack."

Laughter filled the gym. She loved the sound of laughter.It was beautiful.

"On top of personal issues, I wasn't sure how I was going to get through Junior High. I think we've all felt that way at one point…especially during finals when we want to kill the entire faculty for making our lives so hard."

"Tell 'em, Mary!" Someone shouted.

"But look around. We're all standing here, aren't we? We've done it! We've got through Jr. High, alive, happy and ready to take on whatever life wants to throw at us. As we go on for what are sure to be four great years, let's strive to be people who care, work hard, and have fun! This weekend is for us alone, so let's celebrate, laugh, and not focus on our regrets, but instead on our triumphs. Don't look back. Look forward. Before I conclude, I'd like to say thank you to the faculty of Glen Oaks Junior High, and to our parents for making these years…or for me, year, so great. We couldn't have done it without you guys! Finally, I want to thank everyone on this stage with me, because you guys have made this last year so fun for me, and I know that high schools going to be just as great! Let's keep in touch! Congratulations class of 2005! We did it!"

Mary stepped back and threw her cap into the air with the rest of the group, revealing her arm, which was free of any cuts. She was free, she was happy, and she had fought for every inch of that happiness. She had cried in Dr. Olivet's office multiple times, she had indeed had her share of sleepless nights. She had gone through a whirlwind of emotion, anger, pain, nightmares and tears. But she had come out of it laughing. She had won

She wasn't the only one crying as she caught the cap. Not by a long shot.

* * *

Later that night, as Mary and Elizabeth sat in the Stabler's living room, Mary asked the question that had been on her mind.

"Liz, what do you think high school's going to be like?"

"It's hell!" Kathleen shouted from the kitchen.

"Language," Elliot cautioned as he walked through the door with Casey.

"Is the whole world listening in on our conversation?" Elizabeth asked, exasperated, "I think it's gonna be great!"

"Aaand congratulations to the Jr. High graduates of 2005!" Elliot called, in a bang-on imitation of a DJ, tossing Mary, Richand Elizabeth the package.

Mary smiled at the first one, of her,Elizabeth and Rich, smiling and laughing at the camera,all threein the cap and gown.

Mary vaguely remembered a time when she'd dreamed of this exact moment, sitting in a living room, surrounded by family and friends, laughing and tossing around remember-when's. She remembered wishing she could be happy, carefree, and living a normal life stressing over guys and acne instead of the chaos that her life had been in.

Mary tried to remember a time when she hadn't smiled, hadn't laughed. To her surprise, she hardly could.

She looked around the living room, then sat Rebecca down on her lap.

"Hey, Mare," Elizabeth offered, "Remember when we found out that you were valedictorian?"

"And we screamed so loud and long that Ms. Johnson gave us a detention…and we were hoarse for a week?" Mary laughed, "How could I forget?"

"Next year's gonna be so great!" Elizabeth offered.

"Yeah, it is." She said. "Hey, remember when we had those guys over and your dad and my mom stared them down so much they literally _ran _in the other direction?"

"Well, hello?" Elliot offered, "They looked like they'd just stepped out of juvenile detention."

Mary leaned back, smiling.

_Every prayer's been answered; every dream's come true..._she realized _Don't look back. Look forward.

* * *

_

Well, you guys, this is it! It's hard to believe that this is over, and I'm actually getting emotional as I type this. I'm so grateful for the response I've gotten from all of you. I'm so touched!

So, screaming666, azsurferchickn, StrngMedRosaFan, crazyrabidfangurl, barnbumgal, rainingmist, Bluenose, LawNorderLover01, TrustNo, Amethyst Fluff, Emsta, crypticnotions, Foxy Wombat, Sadie555, shopaholic90, Dreamer7182002, AthleticCharmedOne, Alamo Girl, Oxgreendaybabex0, SB for me, benson-luver, ryanz-raindrop, abbyhayes, Richgurl, SVUChicky, Erik's Angelic Beauty, Charmboy4, GingerJohnson, DetectiveLivvy, littlesweetcupcake, LadyRaider, Jordana Amore, and Shae-Lynn1: thank you guys so much for everything. Muchos love to all of you, this story is what it is because of your amazing reviews and support.

There are now three people who I have to thank personally for all their amazing support since day one. These three people have taken the time to e-mail me, have helped me through writer's block, and have ultimately inspired me to forget what anyone says and just write. Here they are:

Wynter Nytes: Wynter, your amazing support throughout the time I've been writing this story has been amazing. I can't tell you how much I value our online, lol friendship, and I can't tell you howgrateful I am to have such an amazing mentor and friend who's supported me so much since day one of me writing on here! I love ya! Thanks for everything!

garrettelliot: Girl, I can't even begin to say how much I love editing for you, and I'm really grateful for the never ending support I've been getting from you! Thanks so much! I'm looking forward to any of your future chapters!

SVUFanatic: Jessica, you are the woman! Your writing, reviews and e-mail have inspired me so much, and because I am around the same age as you, I'd like to thank you for proving just how much writing talent us teens can have! Thanks again for the support, and I'm looking forward to any future chapters/stories!

Well, guys, until the next chapter of the story Wynter Nytes and I are co-authoring, known as Vengeance is Mine, adios!


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